The government is telling me that my name is Gabriella and I live in Australia. Apparently I am female, and thankfully allowed to stay that way.
this is your pilot speaking, yes we’re having difficulties, we’ve realised that this isnt actually a functionable plane but instead a very convincing lego replica
my writing style could best be described as “probably more commas than is entirely necessary”
My dad just sent me this, along with a message that said “the recipe says to let the turkey chill in the sink for a few hours.”
marrying someone just because they’re rich has got to be the most shallow thing ever I can’t wait to do it
the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both
My mom made pot pie for dinner and as she sat down at the table she said “Oh no! I forgot the peas!” and I said “then I guess it’s just an ‘ot ie” and now I have to eat alone in the living room.
don’t talk about tumblr outside of tumblr not because it’s some cool elite website but because it’s fucking embarrassing
No, it’s because we can’t have the people on the outside (i.e. people who aren’t on Tumblr) to find out about this colourful, magical world we log into multiple times a day
see this is what I’m talking about